Monday, March 1, 2010

Cons and Pros

Dear Friends,

Okay, newly stay-at-home-'til-he-finds-a-job-Papa is upstairs with the sweethearts; Mommy has the choice of continuing to eat dinner, or writing. I'll choose a little of each.

There are some fabulous aspects to having my beloved husband home right now. There are also certainly some drawbacks.

Let's start with the CONS:
1)  No income stream.
2-10) See number 1.

Well, that was straightforward. Now, onto the PROS:
1) Daily showers for me, as mentioned in my previous post. Highly valued.

2) The kids get more time with Papa—excellent for all parties, including me. Now I can hope to trim my nails, floss my teeth, braid my hair—any self-care requiring two hands—without essentially having to schedule an appointment a week in advance to do so. Oh, and the kids and Papa can bond, connect, share, laugh, enjoy, and otherwise become more deeply acquainted. Ben will come to know not only what each child's favorite outfit is (Logan: rescue animal shirt, Paige: the more pink the better), but also which spoon each prefers with which bowl for which type of food, which glass for which kind of drink, which commercials to skip-in short, all of the preferences one comes to know in those we deeply love and thoroughly know.

3) My husband gets a taste of the endurance race I run every day, day after day, week after week (hopefully not month after month for his sake and the sake of our future income!). It's not the sprint of errands and reconnecting and quick catch-up naps and intense re-creating of the weekends, but rather the pace-yourself-it's-a-long-time-'til-Friday trek. Except in our new Land of Uncertain Job Prospects, "Friday" no longer signifies the end of a work week for either of us. So we will both—well, really all—need to adapt to this new (albeit temporary) marathon with graceful strides.

4) Speaking of grace, it is a blessing merely to see Ben more. Walking through the kitchen for a snack, bouncing ideas off each other, brainstorming and sharing snippets of thoughts and ideas for short and long-term income sources. Quick, reassuring kisses....

5) Save on cost of gasoline.

6-9)  Save on cost of laundry/work clothing, shoe polish, haircuts, etc.

10) Hugging and holding and keeping the faith together. We are actually keeping a pretty positive outlook about all of the opportunities we are facing and visualizing and creating together. Because in the end, the most important thing is we have each other and our beloved family and our dear friends. And when it comes right down to it, nothing else matters.

PS. I am counting on you, dear friends, to remind me of this list, especially "PRO" number 10, when I am worried about living in a cardboard box, or Ben and I are getting on each other's nerves, or he and I forget to take turns being the one freaking-out vs. the one providing reassurances. Thank you in advance. 


  1. keep that pros list going...maybe it can morph into a gratitude list...I always find those helpful...especially right before bed.

  2. Love Laura's idea. There is nothing better to pick you up when you're doubting/sad/upset than a nice long list of your blessings. :)

  3. You're so upbeat - that's awesome! I stayed that way too through our home foreclosure a couple years ago, knowing that things would get better (HAD to get better), and wouldn't you know, we're in in SO much better shape than we would have been had it not happened. Stay positive, and I will definitely be signing on as a follower to see how things go. :)

  4. Hi, Carrie! Your Mom told me about your new blog--so glad I came by for a visit! Even though life is a bit tough and uncertain right now, you write about it so beautifully--and with such calm and grace...

    This happened to us years ago when my three girls were very young...the youngest was just about 6 months old. I was a bit panicked to say the least! It lasted about 3 months.

    It could happen again soon! Life is kind of a crazy thing right now, isn't it?! It seems like your faith is strong, as is mine, and I know that all will be well.

    I'll be back to visit and see how things are. You have a wonderful Mother, by the way...she's become a special friend in this beautiful bloggy world!

    Have a beautiful, peaceful day!

  5. Hi Carrie,

    Your Mom let me know you had a new blog. Your positive atitude and faith will get you through this rough patch. I know life doesn't always bring us what we expect. But the Lord has promised he will provide our needs. And I believe that. Sometimes like the rest of the world I wish it said what I WANT!

    You have a great support system is your lovely mother. Stella

  6. Hi Carrie :) Your mom told me about you too.. I wanted to tell you a little bit about me. My husband has been out of work for over 7 months now. He has many physical problems including having had triple bypass surgery and 7 heart attacks. He can't work anymore. He's waiting on his disability which has been in the process for over 5 months. I can't work because of two things. One, I have Grave's Disease which keeps me very ill and two, we no longer have a car. It's impossible for me to walk to town even if I could handle working still. I stay positive though. That's all I can do. If you ever want to talk you can email me (my email addy is in my profile) or just visit me on one of my blogs. My Happy At Home blog is my ME blog. It's HERE. I hope you have a wonderful day ♥ Kathy

  7. Hi Carrie! It's so nice to meet you! We have been in your position, too, and the first tendancy is to panic and worry, but looking back I can honestly say that everything has happened for a reason and we have grown and become stronger through it all. God will provide. Try to stay positive! Have a nice day! Twyla

  8. DH & I have been married over 40 years & we have been in this boat many times. With cutbacks now so many are there..... One thing I always said to myself when we were faced with financial diffuculties was "It won't last forever" & you know what??? It doesn't!!
    Just love each other & DO NOT let this situation come between the 2 of you!! Stay united in the survival of your family!!
    Prayers that your situation will improve soon!!

  9. G'day, Carrie ~ First I just LOVE your Mother! I love her books that she wrote & I read, with enthusiasm.

    Marilyn said it so well, sweetie. Just hold on to each other, your faith & love ... all will be better soon. Trust in Him ...

    We will keep you in prayer.

    TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon

  10. Hi Carrie, I'm popping over from your sweet Mother's blog! I have to say that you've got a great attitude, and a great sense of humor too. That helps so much in a situation like this, and I can tell that you are going to be ok. You appreciate everything that you have, like each other, and God will provide the rest. You are in my prayers.
    Take care,

  11. Hi Carrie -- I'm one of your mom's friends and just wanted to drop over and say "hello", and wish you the best. Good to see your blog; your writing is exceptional and I enjoyed reading this post. Count me as a follower. And good luck to all of you. Spring is coming and with that, hopefully better times for all. ~John

  12. Good Morning Sweet Carrie... I'm one of your sweet Moma's friends. She said to stop by and say hi. I just had to pop over. I signed up to follow so I can keep up with everything.

    I have to tell you sweetie, I will be praying for you and your precious family. We have been there ourselves and now our daughter and her family are in the same boat. Our SIL lost his job after Christmas and they have still not found work. We are living in some hard times.

    The one thing I have pulled from your writing is that you are a strong family and that sweetie is in your favor. Please keep up the faith. Good luck to you all.

    Please stop by and say hi, I would so love to have you visit Country Wings, and would be honored if you followed me as well.

    Country hugs sweetie...Sherry

  13. Hi Carrie, I have a three and six year old and my husband has been out of work for over a year. I can sympathize. It is tough out there. I see him try hard every day. You guys just stick together and find the best in every day.

  14. Hi Carrie! Prayers to your famiy. I like this blog. You will find many warm & wonderful friends here. Your mom is a darling! Stop by to join me, I would love to have you and you can enter my giveaways! Have a wonderful day!

  15. It’s difficult to find anyone who hasn’t been through an ordeal such as this. It is almost some sort of torturous rite of passage. My husband lost his job 13 years ago, and it was the best thing that ever happened to us. Our marriage was in serious trouble at the time and we spent far too much money on trivial things. We knew the day we got the bad news that it was going to be a blessing – we could feel it, and it was. I worked part time to enable him to look for a job during the day, which was horrible with a toddler. But, not only did he get a job, he was hired by his “dream” company. He has now been with this company for almost 13 years. Life is wonderful, but not because he has a great job, but because we know, first hand, what life is like without one and it was a gift to be able to step away from the cacophony and see what was truly important. We still talk about it. That ordeal shaped who we are now and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Keep the positive attitude up; you’re on the right track!

  16. Hi Carrie,
    I saw at your mom's Blog , that you had started a new blog .You listed some wonderful blessings in your life. I have you & your family in my prayers .Jesus loves you ,put your trust in him . He will never leave or forsake you.
    I think you are a wonderful writer! You will notice at my blog that I am short on words.
    I suppose ,I am a more visual blogger. I may not be the best at it ,but i love to take pictures. I think that is what is so great about blogging ,you have a outlet to share with someone what you love to do .And the people I have met are so kind and gracious .

  17. I enjoyed your straightforward words - stay busy, bake, cook from scratch, use coupons, trade with friends, plant a garden, have people over for games and bring a snack, etc.
    Things will get better.

  18. I came over from your mom's blog too! Just know that a lot of people are in the same situation and I love the idea of positive thoughts. Good things will come!!

  19. Hi Carrie, I am visiting from your Mom's blog. Please come and visit me if you like for distraction.

    I think your philosophy is fantastic.

    Keep remembering your list...and your strengths.

    I look forward to following you along on this journey of discovery and adventure.

    I have no doubt you will make it both of those things!

  20. I popped on over from your mom's blog. Hang in there ... you are not alone in this whole downsizing thing ... keep your list right in front of you if you have to ... its a great list and you seem to have approached this in a very positive manner.

  21. you have such a positive outlook and humor to go with will make it through this rough patch! Have you or your husband ever thought of going to nursing school?..get a two year AAS degree and you'd never be out of a job....(I know this because I am an RN and Professor of Nursing)..something to think about.

  22. I'm over from your mom's blog. Hang in there. You seem to have a great attitude. Humor will help in these times. Good luck on your husband finding a new job. I'll keep coming back.

  23. First of all, let me say thank you to ALL of you for reaching out with such great love and support! Thank you! It makes all the difference in getting through such a challenging time.

    Let me add that I started to wrote this post when I was feeling irritable and less than rosy, and the process profoundly helped me to feel SO MUCH BETTER! Thank you again for your encouragement.