The Secret to Our Joyous Unschooling Life (Hint: It's not about the kids)

Dear Friends,

We are presenting at the annual Rethinking Everything Conference for the first time this year!

We have attended the RE Conference twice before. We were newer then to the ideas and practices of unschooling.

You've come a long way, baby.

When I try to describe our whole life unschooling to other families, I am sometimes at a loss for words. "Well, it's like homeschooling, but without a curriculum," I begin, looking for some common ground using terms others have at least heard before. But that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.

I asked Logan and Paige today what it means to them to be free.

Logan: "Play whatever we want. Not always, but sometimes. Because I don't get to play Mario sports mix when Daddy's watching the Tigers game. Could we go down and play that right now?"

Paige: "Eat what we want."

Their ability to simply BE in the present moment is one of my favorite things in the world. I strive to emulate this.

The longer we unschool, the more I forget in some ways that it is so novel...until I exchange dialogue with mainstream parents. And answer their fears. And get long looks from fellow restaurant-goers first to figure out if Logan is a boy or girl, and then when they get he's a boy, a long look at me as to what kind of mother I am.

Here's the kind of mother I strive to be, and most of the time am: open, loving, YES-AND..., encouraging, nurturing, joyful, peaceful.

"Be the change you want to see," I've heard. "Model the behavior you want to see in your kids." But I don't want to change Logan and Paige. And I don't even consider them "my" kids. Logan and Paige are unique individuals with whom Ben and I have been blessed with the opportunity to share our lives.

It is not my wish to point out what I do NOT do. That's a lot of negatives to keep track of. "I don't tell them what or when to eat." "I don't tell them when to go to bed." "I don't spank or dole out punishments or limit screen time."

I'm not in charge of Logan and Paige. I'm not in charge of Ben. I'm in charge of me. And my best parenting and person-ing comes when I chill. When I cut myself some slack. When I do my best to unlearn a bunch of social agreements our generation (and many before them) have decreed as necessary and desirable.

Ben introduced me to The Four Agreements, by don Miguel Ruiz. Brilliant. I highly recommend it. The wisdom in this book is common sense and simple and profound.

Ben and I have broken innumerable small agreements. We asked ourselves, for example, what's the big deal if:

• Paige and Logan wear pajamas to the library
• I leave towels unfolded in the drawer
• Logan has the longest hair in the family
• we stay up 'til 4 a.m.
• my face is natural and free of make-up -- unless I feel like wearing it for a special event, and then it's fun to get decorated
• we sometimes eat popcorn for breakfast and toast for dinner and chili at midnight
• we transformed our kitchen table into an art center
• we eat meals on the couch
• Logan and Paige choose all their own clothes, and food, and toys, and how to spend their money, and whether or not they leave the house
• and so many more....

We've joyously broken bigger agreements:

• no school
• no rules, other than safety--no harm to yourself or others
• Ben leaving corporate America and working from home instead

I consider myself a leader in our family. A co-leader with Ben. Yes, we have more life experience. So, wisdom can be helpful, useful, and informative. There's a time and place for it. Unsolicited advice is not necessarily appealing, just like for anyone. And I sure don't consider my life experience to give me license to be in charge of and run Logan's and Paige's lives.

Ben and I lead by example. Not to change Logan and Paige. To simply be our best selves. To shed as many of society's anti-nature agreements as we become aware of. My purpose for existence (thanks to RE presenter John Strelecky for this wisdom) is to inspire others to do and be their best. I strive to do this everywhere, all the time, to the best of my ability.

Ben and I create an environment in which Logan and Paige are able to be in their natural state as much possible. To listen to their body, their soul, their mind, their instincts, their gut. And the more aware I am about living that way myself, the better it is for all of us.

Those old agreements keep coming up in lots of ways. I remain peacefully vigilant to notice when they appear. And break them. >snap< >snap< >snap< Like little pretzels.

• People shouldn't wear underwear under their bathing suits. >snap!<
• Kids should be able to wipe their own bottoms when they're 7. >snap!< (Note: anything with age-related expectations -- PAY CLOSE ATTENTION. It's verrrrrrrry likely they are unnecessary and undesirable and limiting and spirit-breaking agreements that >snap!< we can easily choose to break.)
• Mommies shouldn't wear slippers to the gas station. >snap!<

See how easy that was? Also, I'll state the obvious: should and shouldn't are often dead give-aways for agreements we can pay attention to and >snap!< break when we realize them for what they are: conforming spirit-breakers.

I have my challenges, failures, pitfalls, and blindspots, too. (Um, I'll have to let you know in the future what my blindspots are, since I don't know what they are yet.) I struggle with my own list of social agreements, usually having to do with just me. I'm a lot more chill about Logan and Paige than I am about myself. It's a good thing to pay attention to and keep working on!

• body image (dang those magazines and photoshopped images of women's bodies)
• age-appropriate fashion (see what I mean about the age thing?) -- however, I am proud to proclaim my reclamation of pigtails, mini-skirts, floral hair accessories and short shorts.
• what other people think of me (I love to be loved, and I allow it to stress me out when others don't. Workin' on it.)
• I should (there it is) spend every waking moment paying attention to Logan and Paige.
• I should WANT to spend every waking moment paying attention to Logan and Paige. (That makes about as much sense as, since I am a vegetarian, I should love every vegetable and want to eat all of them every day.)
• fears -- specifically germophobia, claustrophobia, moments of agoraphobia. All are improving, all are part of the ongoing process of healing; disagreeing with social agreements in the most positive, powerful way; and self-actualizing.

Bottom line: I strive to be my best possible self. Some of the stuff I carry forward is really cool and fun and carefree and joyful. Other stuff is obviously a drag and easy to let go of. A portion of stuff is continually being uncovered by living life intimately connected with Ben, Logan and Paige. I thank God for every one of those eye-opening moments, that AHA! >SNAP!< opportunity to recognize an old agreement that inhibits me and/or could inhibit Logan and Paige and Ben, too. I embrace each discovery as I embrace these wonderful children and husband in my life.

I can't wait to go to RE this year. In the past, I entered kind of bewildered, in awe, and feeling on the coattails of the unschooling movement. Now, I've been living it for eight years. The changes Ben and I have undergone to be better parents and better people are so integral to who we are, they're sometimes as difficult to describe as what my lungs and heart and brain look like.

I dunno. Ask yourself: How do you feel when you're with me? Do we resonate? Let's connect and share and support and encourage and uncover and discover and break agreements and live freely and openly and lovingly and play together. These are all super cool things to look forward to at RE 2013. See you there!

love,

Carrie

Happy Independence Day!

Dear Friends,

Happy Independence Day! Let Freedom reign!

Today is a super significant day for our family. It marks the one-year anniversary of our family's freedom.

Exactly one year ago today, October 21, 2011, Ben walked out of corporate life and into our loving, waiting arms.

We realized our family could not be free until every member of our family is free.

Here is a brief family interview:

What does freedom mean to you?

Paige: To me it means playing all day. And something else about freedom, is to watch shows all night until I want to be in a burrito shell.

Logan: What freedom means to me is that all of us are together.

What does freedom look like to you?

Logan: It looks like all of us being together and doing whatever we want.

Paige: Yes, what Logan said.

Carrie: Piles of peanut butter cookies. Playing baseball at the park together. Stacks of markers and fresh paper close by. Kissing Ben anytime of the day. Sharing ordinary events, like snacking on toast and watching Survivorman. Sharing extraordinary events, like Paige mastering a somersault and Logan losing a tooth. Crocheting. Cuddling. Hugging.

What does freedom feel like?

Logan: It feels nice. It's the only thing that feels perfect for me. Being together feels perfect to me.

Paige: It feels like being home all day and staying with the family all day.

Carrie: Relaxing. Grounding. Whole. Complete. Joy. Peace. Secure.

What is different now from one year ago?

Paige: Daddy's not working. [to Ben:] Now we can be with you, and you can still work, and all you have to do is be at home.

Logan: I'm much happier now that Daddy's home.

Carrie: Memories are created together and shared in the moment, rather than reporting them at the end of each day to Ben. The pining is gone. The longing to be together has been fulfilled. I missed Ben so much. I wished with every fiber of my being for him to not get into the car and rush 70 m.p.h. every morning to a cubicle doing work he didn't care about that wasn't going to change the world or fulfill any of his dreams.

What did we do to make it happen?

Carrie: Having faith. Trusting each other. Being open to opportunities the universe provides. Knowing our hearts' desires would be fulfilled. Shedding the dream of the planet, daring to live out our passions. Being in the present moment, together. Nothing compares to that. In our safe home, cozy, connected. Oh, and downsizing.

We've learned to live and love together. Compromises. Negotiations. Meeting everyone's needs. Consensus.

Ben pointed out you can be together in a jail cell, but it's not the same thing as true freedom. So, beyond getting to share time and space, the context matters. A critical part of freedom is to be free from scores of rules, of others' dictating how your time is spent. And with that freedom comes responsibility, to make choices that continue to support our family and our freedom.

I am now able to more freely follow my passions and fulfill my life's purpose: to inspire others to do and be their best. Directing, coaching, performing all fit the criteria: "Would I do this even if I weren't being paid?" YES! I love what I do. And I love that what I do provides value to others, so that in turn, I am able to earn a living doing what I love. Ben being home creates the opportunity for me to say yes to these opportunities.

During our most recent complete trip around the sun, Ben has been working on genealogy practices and software. I've opened my own teaching studio in Dexter. We are together every day. I no longer feel like a single parent for the majority of each day. I have more time to cook, to chill, to crochet, to sing, to play, and sooooo much more time and reason to laugh.

I love Ben. I love our family. I love our freedom. I love connecting and creating and being. I am so grateful for our supportive parents, friends, unschooling family, free-thinkers, and courageous mentors. I hope we inspire you in turn to find ways to let freedom reign in your own life.

Love,
Carrie

Harness the Power of a Good Hair Day

Dear Friends,

Bangs? Layers? Highlights? Permanent color? Semi-permanent glaze?

There are so many decisions to make when it comes to hair beauty.

Believe it or not, the same person has been cutting my hair since 1995. I lived out of state for four years, and even planned vacations home to Michigan around my haircut schedule. Seriously.

Have you ever pored over fashion magazines for just the perfect cut and color? Have you ever brought said photographs into your stylist, and come out looking nothing like the picture?

Okay, stylists are not miracle workers. Don't expect to leave suddenly transformed into Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Hudson, or Jennifer Lopez (all admirable hair trend-setters). But do have an idea of what you like and be ready to have a pragmatic dialogue with your stylist about what your hair can and cannot do.

I have been blessed with the talents of Peter Bokanoski at A Peter James Salon for 17 years. Seventeen years! This person has seen me through relationships, marriage, children, career changes, geographic moves, grad school, apprenticeship, funerals...and many hairstyles over the years.

Does anyone else mark time by noting, "Oh, that event occurred when I still had short hair," or, "I remember that event, I was having a good hair day"?

Fortunately, due to the talents, patience, and inspiration of Peter, I have experienced many good hair days. You know, when I apply myself. I have gone from single and dating (read: time and motivation to do my hair daily), to married before children (take the time to fuss with my hair, while my husband and I still have time to look at each other), to mother of two young children (yeah, Ponytails 'r' Us), to getting back into auditioning and being presentable in public (hair gets styled approximately once per month).

I love Peter. I love his advice. I love his haircuts. He is an artist and a friend. People compliment me on my hair, and I attribute this to lucky genes, effective styling products, and the expertise of my stylist, Peter, and my colorist, Gary Lemming.

So, consider this my Valentine to Peter and Gary at A Peter James Salon. Consider this also as encouragement to pamper yourself and use some of your Christmas money to treat your hair to the very best.

Peter always comes up with flattering styles, Gary does natural color for me, and I leave feeling great. Bonus: scheduling my hair appointment on the same day as an audition! They can get me all dolled up, and all I have to do is sit there and get caught up on celebrity gossip in People magazine.

As a mother with young children, I have found this to be especially kind to show some self-love by going to the salon. It's like a mini-version of participating in TLC's What Not To Wear. Stacy and Clinton would be proud of the attention I allow to be focused on myself a couple of hours, every few months.

So, in preparation for my hair appointment next week, I will be poring over In Style magazine (it has mysteriously been delivered to me -- actually to Ben -- for the past two months. Did somebody gift this to me?). I will be considering bangs, how much length to get trimmed, how realistic is it to go permanent with my base color. I am looking forward to being treated like a queen for an afternoon.

And I especially look forward to feeling fabulous afterward, not just for having a fresh hairstyle and highlights, but for having prioritized some "Mommy's needs are important, too, even for pampering" time!

P.S. I see on their homepage, A Peter James Salon is having a new client special. Join me over there sometime. You'll be glad you did, and both of us will get a discount on our services!

If You Build It, They Will Come

Dear Friends,

Fabulous news! We have made one of my dreams a reality: I now have a beautiful, new studio for teaching private acting and singing lessons!

When we chose to buy this home last year in Dexter, Michigan, one of the big draws was the giant space in the back of the two-car garage. At the time, it was a woodworking shop, with a concrete floor, dark wood paneling, shop lights, and lots of sawdust.

Flash forward nearly one year later (we moved here February 2011): The paneling is gone, the drop ceiling is gone, the sawdust is certainly long gone. My husband, Ben, along with my stepfather and our good friend Dan, have transformed the woodworking shop into a lovely, cheerful, creative space. We are attracting students for singing, playing and realizing dreams.

My purpose for existence is to inspire others to do and be their best. The studio is perfect for helping others reach their own performance goals and exploring their passions.

Please visit my website, CarrieJay.com designed by Ben! Tell all your friends!

Another piece of this lovely mosaic forming our family's lives is that Ben left his 9 to 5 corporate job several weeks ago. He, too, is exploring his passions and reawakening his creative talents. These include web-based entrepreneurial pursuits, drawing, SCUBA diving and photography. If you would like to know about camera choices, you can visit his new website, too!

I already have several new students coming to my studio, and we are getting a taste of a new rhythm in our family. Ben is home, spending more time with Logan and Paige. I am feeling more rounded and fully alive still getting to be Mommy a lot, while helping to develop others' talents and careers, literally in my own backyard. Logan and Paige are completely at peace. Ben and I are thrilled to explore these virtually uncharted territories of breaking old agreements and actively choosing to no longer participate in the Rat Race. We are delving into the wilderness of our hearts and passions, and discovering how to make a living while living freely.

Join us in freedom! Share your stories of stepping outside of mainstream, living on the edge instead of in the box or even outside of it! Tell about your self-actualization journey and that of your family.

We could not have made these brave lifestyle changes if it hadn't been for your literal en-couragement. So, thank you, friends, for your love and enthusiasm. Know that we are radiating it back to you tenfold and with wishes to explore your own wild, uncharted terrain!

love,
Carrie and clan

T.G.I.F.* (*Freedom Day)

Dear Friends,

I wish I could record and share with you Paige's "gargly-crabby voice."

Phonetically, I guess it would look something like this: "Grrrr-owwlll, grrrr-aaaaghhh, woooooo, ssssttttpp, grrrr-AAAHHHHH!"

I couldn't have said it better myself.

I've been gone the past five evenings, what with Encore business, directing class, rehearsals for It's A Wonderful Life, Reiki training, and an unschooling advocacy teleseminar. All good stuff, and yes, I've been gone a lot, so Paige is missing me.

She is expressing her disappointment, sadness, and longing in the best way she can: with growls, grunts, howls, and yelps. And her whole body is involved in self-expression. If she were in an acting class, the teacher would declare her "Brilliant!"

And, of course, she is. Paige in her fourth year is the purest, blessedly least domesticated of our family, and she is perfection in spirit. I learn from her every day ways to return to my truest, undomesticated, authentic self.

So, if you ask me how I feel on the eve of Ben's final day in the 9 to 5 corporate world (dubbed Freedom Day by us), my response is: "Grrrr--owwwlll, arrrrgggghhhhh, bbbblllaaaggg, ssssfffftttzzz, mmmmm-rrrrr-AAAAAAHHHHHH! GAH-GAH-Grrrrr-AHHHHHHHHH!"

I miss him so much. I yearn for him. I am grieving, howling, angry, desperate, unbridled longing, furious, sad, and AAAAGGGHHHH!

See, mere words cannot quite express how I feel.

You might expect it would be all cheerful here, you know, daisies and roses, butterflies and skipping and dancing and spinning and celebrating, but we're dealing with some grief here, too. Grieving the lost time of the past seven years apart, punctuated by evenings and weekends together, but not fully free, in the here-and-now, sharing every aspect of life. I've covered this before, so I won't get all gooey about it now. I can chalk it all up to sunk cost, and move forward.

My point is, I can feel myself letting down my guard. I am finally allowing all of the feelings I've been keeping at bay: fatigue, rust-out (see my recent post Connecting the Dots), impatience, sadness, anger. I am releasing the sheer energy it takes to hold it all together and muster through another day that is not free until we are all free.

So here it is, our family's Freedom Day. What will I do first with this new-found freedom? Draw? Bake? Organize? Catch up on phone calls? Catch up on sleep?? Maybe I'll just affix myself to Ben's shoulder koala bear-style and hang out there for a few weeks. To connect with and absorb his essence. Mmmmmmmm....

The release of energy heretofore used for surviving shall now be used for thriving. I proclaim it.

Our concrete plans include completing the studio (paint, carpet, arranging, organizing), so I can start teaching lessons again; recreating the family bed; sorting through and allowing our hearts to direct Ben's web-based business prospects; budgeting (good-bye pizza, hello home-prepared dehydrated nuts and veggies); and yes, celebrating!

There might be some growling and howling, some working through and expressing and releasing and grieving and accepting what is, what has been and what will be....and at the end of it all, we will have just this moment, in the present to rejoice and be glad and live and love.

Together. Isn't that the point?

love,
Carrie

Connecting the Dots

Dear Friends,

One of my more adaptive responses to stress is to clean.

Let's just say my house is nearly spotless right now. I'm considering re-organizing the closets. I can't wait to break down the last of our moving boxes. I am mentally combing through all of the toddler toys considering what to sell or donate or at least rejoin all of their parts that have gone astray.

All of this points to the fact we have some major life changes afoot.

I'll start with a brief summary: Two days ago, Ben asked for some flexibility in his 9 to 5 schedule. His boss's response? She ended his contract. Aaaaaand, scene!

Deep breath. We saw this coming. We have actually yearned for this. It may appear to be sudden and mysterious, but this has actually been in the making for some time.

Last year (September 2010), we attended the Rethinking Everything (RE) Conference for the first time. We connected with numerous brave, joyful, loving families who inspired us to reevaluate every aspect of our lives. We came home and began taking major steps to free our time, our finances, and our lives.

We moved to a smaller home, in a more affordable community. I jumped back into theater with both feet. Ben launched websites and learned a ton about creating value online and marketing it. We sold and donated non-essential belongings. We settled into our new home, however, Ben was now commuting even farther than before, still trading his time for money 50 plus hours each week. Life was better, but still not ideal. Logan, Paige and I experienced a degree of freedom, yet we understood none of us was free until all of us were free.

Fast forward to September 2011: We attended RE for the second time. This time I more easily selected the sessions I wanted to experience, visualized what I wanted to gain from the conference, and identified specific people I wanted to connect with. I was less overwhelmed by the setting and sheer numbers of people, and was able to settle in more smoothly with Logan and Paige as we adapted to the major shift from low-key daily life to intense, energy-charged, maximally-connected conference immersion.

I knew I wanted to know more about Law of Attraction and its intersection with unschooling and parenting. I knew I wanted to see Chris and Sarah Parent, and to meet Dayna and Joe Martin in person. I wanted to hug Barb Lundgren and experience Quinn Eaker. And I wanted to connect with John Strelecky, as his books and ideas have been a huge change-agent for us.

I also wanted to open every possibility for Logan and Paige to play and create and experiment and discover. Kid Village, art projects, take-apart electronics, scavenger hunts, the pool, bouncy Twister, games -- all of it was like Kid Heaven, and we eagerly highlighted these sessions on Ben's rockin' smartphone application.

Perhaps more than anything, I wanted Ben to have the opportunity to connect with other dads who are further along the path of self design, living out their dreams, and are joyously free.

I wanted answers, a map, a quenching of our thirst for freedom. I wanted connection and inspiration and hope.

All of this happened. I got everything I wanted, and more. One session I attended was entitled, "I Always Get Everything I Want." And that is exactly what occurred. Abundance.

I communed with the people I wished to be with. I attended my favorite sessions. The kids had a blast. And Ben made awesome connections personally and professionally (one of the hallmarks of SelfDesign -- there is no compartmentalization of our lives -- we live who we are, and create value for each other; earning a living is living in and of itself).

Attending RE, experiencing healing, gaining insights, connecting deeply, and drawing inspiration from others who are further down this road of liberation has made all the difference for us making intentional choices to be free. We couldn't do it alone, nor would we want to! We are designed to need each other, and live interdependently. Isolation is becoming a thing of the past, and I am feeling physically, emotionally and spiritually supported by an invisible network of loving friends and family.

Yet, the support isn't actually invisible: it is clearly visible in the faces and voices and writings of all of our friends.

Thank you for your invaluable encouragement, unconditional love, and courageous trailblazing!

So, here we are, no longer on the precipice of freedom, but actually having declared it. We are free!

How does it feel? Exhilarating. Scary. Hopeful. As in now with hope. Mostly, I am experiencing a deep peacefulness. I know this is what we have all longed for, and it feels right. Aligned. We are vibrating with love, peace, knowing, confidence, stillness, the presence of God at our cores. And it is good.

When I married Ben, I wanted to spend my life with him. Not just a few hours crammed in at the end of every day. Not part-time, casual. I wanted to hold him, carry him, be carried, walk, run, play hand-in-hand, live, love, laugh, experience all of Life together. I feel the same way with our children. I don't want part-time love and occasionally shared existence. When we are together, I feel whole. Every fiber of my being did not want Ben to get into the Subaru and drive an hour away from us every morning. So, he's not going to do that anymore.

What's in store? Our minds are racing, our bodies are charged, our energy is high. We can't seem to talk fast enough and can barely capture our rapid flow of ideas. Flood gates are opening, and it is amazing. It makes me realize how many ideas, connections, brainstorms, and energy we held at bay, ninety percent of the time, just trying to get through another day apart. Too much work for Ben, not enough family time. Too much single-handed parenting for me, not enough Ben and vocation time.

And now it's all becoming aligned. Our arms grew tired propping up the dull, grey cubicle walls. We no longer agree to participate in what inspirational author Don Miguel Ruiz calls The Dream of the Planet. (In a nutshell, we lose touch with our true selves in the process of becoming domesticated. We create an image of how we think we should be, in order to be accepted by others. And we judge and berate ourselves when we fall short of perfection. The secret: its all smoke and fog, a socially constructed mirage. And Ben and I are actively choosing to stop supporting this lie. We choose instead to restore our true selves who already know how to dream big, play hard, and dance as if no one's looking....More on Ruiz's The Four Agreements another time....)

So, we've taken the leap of faith, and sure, it is stressful. But that is merely a surface emotion, occuring at times when I allow my mind to participate in what John Strelecky calls "The Mad How Disease." How am I going to make a living? How am I going to get students? How are we going to choose avenues for Ben's web-based work? Instead of asking "how," we want to ask "who" and learn from those people. Trailblazers. Map makers. Dreamers. Entrepreneurs.

We have already begun to attract a huge inflow of whos and exciting possibilities. There are more options for income streams than we could possibly follow. So now we are in the delicious position of choosing what feels fun and great and energizing. We are pursuing our passions, and it is thrilling.

Join us!

I wonder how many people in unsatisfying jobs worldwide walked into work the morning after learning of brilliant Steve Jobs' untimely death (so young, so young, we chanted) and said, "I want to make a change. I am no longer willing to settle. Slavery is not noble. I am out of here, and onto bigger and better things. I want to create and follow my passions and make a difference in the world."

Rustout is the slow death that follows when we stop making the choices that keep life alive. It’s the feeling of numbness that comes from always taking the safe way, never accepting new challenges, continually surrendering to the day-to-day routine. Rustout means we are no longer growing, but at best, are simply maintaining. It implies that we have traded the sensation of life for the security of a paycheck…Rustout is the opposite of burnout. Burnout is overdoing. Rustout is underbeing.
Richard Leider

I am so done with underbeing. I am here to LIVE! And I'll take it all: the joy, the anticipation, the uncertainty, and yes, even the stress. It feels good to feel. At least now I know I'm alive, and I am ready, willing and able. Let's go for it!

Befriending Your Fears, Part I

Dear Friends,

I am beginning to befriend my fears.

I no longer fear my fears. I do not allow them power over me. This post is the beginning of sharing with you my process of overcoming my (diminishing) fear of germs and illness. My fear was borne of trauma when Paige was four weeks old.

I want to share with you a response I wrote to a local unschooling friend online, when she asked other families for advice about preventing illnesses:

Hello! I'm sorry you aren't feeling well! I know what a drag that is! 

For us, Cold Calm has been a miraculous help for symptom relief and for eliminating the cold in 1-2 days. It's homeopathic, and available at CVS. I became a lot more confident and relaxed about trying to prevent colds, once I knew I had this surefire antidote, if necessary! 

As for prevention, for me it was an intentional shift in my focus. When Paige was a baby, she caught a cold, which turned into pneumonia, which freaked me out because I was afraid she would die. This incident sparked a fear of germs for me. 

During the next two winters, I was determined to prevent any viruses or other illnesses from reaching our family. We washed hands, used Purell, disinfected shopping carts (and I mean thoroughly), minimized going out, avoided having people over, and required them to wash hands upon arrival if they came. I started a regimen of Vitamin C, echinacea, multi-vitamins, the whole nine yards, because I was intent on not getting sick. 

And do you care to guess what happened? 

At least one of us, if not all of us, were sick EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR OVER 100 DAYS. Both winters. It was craaaaazy! 

This past winter, I decided to change my focus. First, I realized no one died from the colds and flues in my family. Second, I experienced we could bounce back, and I always managed to scrape up enough energy to get through mine and my family's illnesses. Just barely, but I did it. And finally, I was just plain too tired and didn't have the energy to fight the flues anymore. I was done. And I let it go. 

The result? 

My recollection is we were not sick once. Not at all. If we were even once, I don't recall, and it wasn't notable. 

Once I stopped putting energy and attention on illness and attempting to prevent it, it simply was no longer a part of our lives. 

This month, the kids caught a cold on our trip to Texas. I did not freak out or overreact. My husband and I caught it, too, took Cold Calm, and it was over. No big deal.
This is a huge shift for me. Maybe I unconsciously attracted those previous viruses into our lives, just so I could be flooded with it, and know that we could survive no matter what. They lost their power over me. And I came through it feeling empowered and peaceful. 

Louise Hay has written a great deal about body ailments and using our intentions and affirmations to rid our bodies of dis-ease, and become our healthiest selves. (Her books are on amazon.)

Best wishes for a healthful, peaceful season:)

Whew! Join me in befriending our fears, rather than fearing them and giving them power over our selves and our lives. Going with the flow feels sooooo much better. Letting go of what we have no control over in the first place. Let's be each other's support for freeing our energy for creative pursuits, living and loving in the present moment, and inviting our fears to at least ride in the passenger seat. We may discover they end up in the back seat, and eventually at the side of the road. I hate to litter, but on the other hand, I think we will find the wind will blow them away, and we will actually see the fears for what they are: a mirage.

Love,
Carrie