Tonight, I am trying not to wolf my dinner-while I have two hands to eat and my lap is clear-as my husband just arrived home from work, and is playing with the kids upstairs. Ahhh....the joy of literally five minutes to myself.....
Speaking of putting in a full day of work: Time for a rest. Take a breath. Relax. Release. The contraction is over.
The contraction? Yes, the contraction which I will define as one reeeeallly long-let's say roughly 23 hours-period of intense work, requiring my full attention, being fully in the moment, everything-that-came-before-informs-this-instant-in-time, I've-never-worked-this-hard-in-my-life kind of work. And there is an unbelievable reward at the end of it all: fabulous, healthy, nourished, nurtured children.
I've been "on the clock" with at least one child since 8 p.m. last night, when I took one frequent-nursing, teething toddler to bed. It is now 7 p.m. We were up a few hours during the night. I've wanted to weep with exhaustion today, when little Sweetie's nap didn't occur when I wish it had. Fill in the details of chasing after/monitoring/feeding/nursing/playing with/reassuring/snuggling, etc. those two fabulous, energetic, healthy toddlers.
Whew! It is so important to take each break in labor (childbirth/mothering) when it comes! I can't anticipate the work ahead, or lament the work behind. My rest needs to be true, deep, refreshing, recreating, for the creative work that lies ahead. Oops, don't think ahead, don't plan, don't expect...in fact, don't "DON'T." Just be....
Natural childbirth has given me the confidence to parent naturally. I achieved something I never expected I could do. During the most difficult part of my first childbirth labor (yep, transition), I found myself repeating, "I can't..." until my husband assured me, "You CAN. You ARE." Magnificent reflection of reality back to me at a crucial time, by my exceptionally loving and intuitive husband...
You CAN. You ARE. You have everything you need to do this job. Trust your body. Relax between the periods of hard work. KNOW that you can do this. Believe in yourself. Look at your children with kind, refreshed eyes, and appreciate your hard, hard work. You will accomplish unbelievable (BELIEVE anyway!) feats. Find the Divine within yourself. The Strength. The Love.
Oh, good! I hear two tender little voices, one deep one, and gales of laughter heading back down the stairs. I am refreshed and ready for the next contraction. And so very blessed.
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